im a beast, without the hype.

you see this is just a nightmare, and so i blink twice. open up my eyes and hope your in my sight.

i realized i waited too long.

i always figuired i had time to patch things up with some old friends, and ex’s, and family members. but it
doesn’t matter now im gone

goodbye isn't so easy

i stopped by everyones houses today to say goodbye and i thought i wouldn’t cry but i did. but the goodbye that was the hardest for me, was the last one. standing there hugging her saying our goodbyes, it just brought me back. with her poking at my back, i didn’t want to ever let go. but i had to, and so she lifts her head from my shoulder and stares at my lips for a second but hesitates and turns her cheek. i get in the car and i drive off to drop off my friend back home. it was time for me to get back home, but all i could think about on the way home, was damn that’s it. and so i sped back to where she was, hoping to catch her walkin back home. i get down the block looking left and right for her and i found her. I pulled over quick and run up to her while she was on the phone and eating a cookie. and she told me i didn’t have to come back and i remember trying to explain but the words were comming out like mush and so instead i just grabbed her face and kissed her. my hands shakin from being so nervous, i kissed her again. and finally once more before i sped off to my house cause i was running late. what if i never come back? i wasn’t going to let my last chance, pass me by…

il talk to you all of you soon.

what happens

boss-man-general:

when you’re at the borderline of losing one of your best friends.

i remember it all. from the good to the bad, from the worst memories to the best. i’ve shared them all with you. i remember one of the first times i met you, in the 5ive/6ix school. you were in my class, i even still got the class picture. i moved that year and came back a few years later and i swear i guess it was meant for us to be friends. i met you once again at rj’s birthday party, where we were playing basketball and i hit you with the basketball and gave you a bloody nose. later on that night rj’s mom gave us a ride home. then later on as time passed by i somehow ended up at your house with rena and rony. rena had like two beers and she was so gone. rony couldnt even drink the neck of the corona. and i dont know how we stayed in contact from that day on but we sure did. it was when the winter came around and we started hustling cd’s in school together, little as niggas like 13 years old tryna make some money lmao. we clicked after that in a way that we became inseparable. literally. i cant remember or even count how many times i have slept over your house since then. we did everything together and nothing was able to stop us. not the weather, the conditions, or even your mom or your aunt. i spent every day at your house, every weekend, every waken moment. i remember we always use to sleep in the basement playing nfl street or on the computer in the freezing weather. sharing a quilt and drinking hot cocoa. playing basketball all year round no matter the weather. rain, snow, below zero tempeture. nothing ever stopped us. i remember when it was around your birthday and we were getting ready to have that big party of yours. and i got in the biggest argument with my mother and i run away from home. the first person i called was you because i knew i could always count on you. i was with you when your mom gave you your room and said that she was gonna fix it up. i remember the excitement in your voice and your face. if it werent for you i probably wouldnt be an alcoholic right now (not a bad thing) lol. im gonna always consider you a beast in drinking even tho you dont drink anymore. like the morning you went to church drunk as hell after your party. i could still remember the chugs you were taking of 99 proof in the hypno cups. and the fucking 40 inch black light that i bought you and broke right before the party even started. i was so pissed but we still had a good time. then to the bad, like that day when we fought by the east wing. still till this day i sometimes kinda regret it. cause only god knows how our friendship would of been like now if that were to never happen. that was the worse. i remember you thinking i was gonna do to you like what i did to roney, but i didnt. just to skip all the bad i remember when we made up. it was winter time, we both had snorkels on. i had my old huge sweatpants on and we went by the flagpole. everyone gassed it so crazy and we both couldnt stop cheesing. i finally had my bestfriend back. i almost lost you back then, i dont wanna loose you now! i havent felt this in such a long time. the last times i’ve cried this much was when nesdi broke up with me and when ness died. so that should show you how much you really mean to me. i always felt like i was too much of a best friend. i’ve done so much for you, i hope you never took any of my kindness for granted. i just never really got to tell how much i appreciate our friendship. you were there for me when everyone use to hate me. you stuck by me no matter how much shit people use to talk about me. you’re one of the first people that i ever considered a best friend and now i feel like im losing one of my first best friends. i know you’re gonna keep your number and we gonna stay in contact but its just not gonna be the same! who am i suppose to hit up to play basketball with me once the weather starts getting nice, or even when we just feel like playing considering that its freezing outside. so what happens now.. what goes on from here, shedding these tears covering my keyboard in water. no matter how much i cry its not gonna make you stay. ima pray every night that you will return. and i know it will come true. i just cant believe how reality hits. my heads thumping, my hearts pounding hard, my eyes are red and swollen. ima fucking miss youu mannn! its forever gonna be justin y willie. if i could kidnap you i would. so many memories, that i cant even list all them on here. but we both have them in our minds. i hope you never forget because i promise i wont. i gotta stop this because im shaking too much. your my brother, we grew up together. we both wouldnt be the people we are today without each other. ima see you around, there’s never an end..

I LOVE YOU JUSTIN DUENAS

damn i was shedding tears and shaking as i read this. looking back on everything we’ve been through, all i can say is damn, we did a lot. lol and im gonna miss you so much. one thing i will never forget, is that we crossed the high way at night while dodging traffic. lmao wth were we thinking? crossing the highway putting our lives in danger all for some Bitches. and i just wanna say thank you wilie, for everything. who’s knows where il be right now. im like speechless right now bro. and yo we both know our friendship isn’t as strong as it was once before but I figuired we always had to time to fix that. JUSTIN Y WILLIE lol. thank you for everything, i love you man and ima miss you.

ashley noriega :]

dear nigga,

listen i love you yo. and it surprises me how much i really am gonna miss you. and yea like i told you before your like a sister to me. and i wanna say sorry for all the dumb shit i did -_- cause im a dumbass. but im glad we got so close like we did :D lol, you know i still owe you lunch from like the first time we started talkin again o.O hahaha…. but yea i am gonna miss you son. :]

love,

justin duenas.